OR Excellence - Where Leaders Meet, Learn and Grow Together

New Orleans Marriott, New Orleans, La., Oct. 14-17

Check Out These Exciting Sessions

Outpatient Total Joints?

Getting Patients to Pay Up On the Day of Surgery

Enhance the Quality of Your QI Studies

Lessons Learned From Stories of the OR

No Texting During Time Outs!

Handling the Strange, Taboo and Dreadful in OR

Opening Up About the Worst Mistake of His Career

Eliminate Errors You Can, Manage Ones You Can't

Shining a Bright Light on What's Wrong

Laugh and Let "Little Puffs of Pain" Escape

If You're Not Actively Online, You're Out of Step

Win the War Against SSIs

Too Heavy to Handle? Dealing with Obese Patients

Maintaining Competency Is an Ongoing Challenge

Online Pre-Admissions: The Time Has Come

Engage and Energize Your Anesthesia Providers

Have Your Job and Stay (Happily) Married, Too?

Marie Sakosky-Kelly, RN, John D. Kelly, IV, MD

Marie Sakosky-Kelly, RN, & John D. Kelly, IV, MD

Can You Have Your Job and
Stay (Happily) Married, Too?

A conversation with Marie Sakosky-Kelly, RN, and
her husband, orthopedic surgeon John D. Kelly, IV, MD

Maintaining a happy marriage is challenging under any circumstances, but throw in a tough, demanding job like managing a surgical facility, with its long hours and longer list of responsibilities, and the odds against staying happily married can become overwhelming. Overcoming those odds is a matter of creating the life and the marriage you want to have, of honoring the marriage and of being willing to change for the better. In their presentation, "Can You Have Your Job, and Stay (Happily) Married, Too?" on Wednesday, Oct. 15, at the New Orleans Marriott, Marie Sakosky-Kelly, RN, who has held clinical, research and management positions during her career, and her husband, orthopedic surgeon John D. Kelly, IV, MD, an orthopedic surgeon/sports shoulder specialist who practices in Philadelphia, Pa., will share the secrets of balancing a busy healthcare career and maintaining a healthy, loving relationship. We talked to the happy couple recently.

Q: Why are there so many unhappy marriages?

Marie Sakosky-Kelly — Great marriages don't just happen. They're the result of conscious decision, effort and an ongoing commitment. We have the power to determine the quality of our marriage. Deciding to commit to a better marriage will enrich the lives of both partners. Remember also that we all bring childhood wounds to our marriages. As the saying goes, "The trauma of childhood becomes the drama of adulthood." Old hurts can make or break us. Marriage can make or break your happiness. Focus on balance, on juggling your work demands, your home life and your relationship. You have to keep them in check.


Q: What's the most important ingredient in a successful marriage?

John D. Kelly, IV — Maintaining a resilient marriage in the face of modern-day challenges takes true commitment. They say that success in marriage is not only about finding the right partner, it's about being the right partner. Make the decision to have high-integrity values. Your commitment in your marriage is a decision. You have to make that decision to honor your commitment every day.


Q: How do you maintain that commitment in the face of adversity?

John D. Kelly, IV — Live in the moment. Forget the past. Forgiveness liberates. And be the best we can now, and choose to love. Your mission is to make your significant other feel loved and lovable. Focus on the relationship, not the things. The world is promoting more and more that it's all about the Benjamins, the house, the car. But you need to focus on your relationship because that's what really going to sustain you.


Q: What else do you recommend to help maintain that strong bond?

Marie Sakosky-Kelly — Try the skin-to-skin challenge. Make the commitment to cuddle naked for 20 minutes to reconnect emotionally. Just hold each other and relish the closeness. Be present, with no expectations.


Q: Any other tips?

John D. Kelly, IV — Never go to bed angry. It is more important to be in relationship than to be "right." Married couples like to push each other's buttons. Instead of mentors, they can become tormentors. The ego causes some partners to want to always be right, to always be the controlling one. Don't let unresolved things get away from you.


Q: How can busy couples find the time needed for a strong marriage?

Marie Sakosky-Kelly — Figure out how many hours a day and week you spend on the job versus your relationship. You have to make up for it. It's not the quantity of time, it's the quality of time. You can't just work, work, work. But we get caught in the trap of work, work, work because that's where you get your satisfaction and your kudos. Instead of doing one more thing at the office, give that time to be in the relationship. Make decisions that are good for your marriage.


Q: What will we learn from your presentation?

John D. Kelly, IV — We'll touch on the keys to a rich marriage: your commitment, respect, investment, romance, taking time for fun, being open to growth and — a big one — forgiveness.


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OR Excellence 2014

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